Decisions

I have to admit, I am excited to go home for several reasons. Let's check out the list I made weeks ago when I first started realizing I might have to go home. I entitled my list "Things to Look Forward to at Home":
My big bed
Family & friends
CBA
Cottage cheese
Sweet Tomatoes
Lindsey’s Wedding
Saving money
Carpet in house
Cheese fries
Beach
Homemade dips
Drier for clothes
Dad’s burgers
Don Juan’s
Pretzels

I realize now that most things are food...hmmm. I know I could add more to it now but honestly don't see the need... I'll be home soon enough. And a side note... I put in friends and family as an after thought because to me it was too obvious to put on a list, but then looking at the list without that, I felt wrong for not writing it. Ha.



Now for a more serious note...

I love Madrid and love living here. However, lately I have been feeling very.... I can't find the right word... but I am basically hanging out here/having an extended vacation that some of us have experienced before...called Unemployment. If it weren't for Angela coming next week (YAY!), I may have left earlier. But maybe then I would not have felt ready... like it was rushed or something. Either way, I have had a lot of free time and also a lot of time alone since most of my friends here actually WORK during the day! I keep wondering if coming to Madrid was the right choice for me.. and the answer that keeps coming to me is NO. This really upsets me because I put so much time and stress into my decision to come here that I feel like I let myself down. I had been spending a lot of time looking up other teaching or volunteering options but have basically given up that for now. (Although if anyone knows of a good opportunity for me... let me know?) People (my mom especially) tell me that I still had a great experience coming back here and sure, maybe I did, but right now it does not feel like that. I spent tons of money on a class to get certified... a certification that I have not and may never use. And now I'm just "hanging out" and I hate not having anything to do.. I feel that I am wasting time and basically just feel like a bum. I meet people here and when asked what I'm doing here, I say teaching English. But wait... I'm not. I follow a blog of someone who is in Costa Rica with the program I was going to do (if you're reading, sorry if it's weird to mention that, Kelsey! haha) and it makes me doubt my decision even more. Would I have been better off in Costa Rica, sticking with my original plan and decision? Coming home so soon, it seems strange to think that for WorldTeach/Costa Rica, I would still be gone for months. However, I would have accomplished exactly what I originally set out to do. I will never know, and that is really getting to me. I put a lot of research and planning into my move to Madrid and keep feeling like it was all for nothing. I am not looking for sympathy nor do I mean to complain about my situation. I am simply trying to explain what I have been feeling for the majority of the time that I have been done with class. I have met a few amazing people here who I am starting to consider good friends, and I really hope we will be able to stay in contact. However, beyond that, I am losing sight in other positive things that have come from my possibly very wrong decision. I guess that is life though. You can not always be right, you cannot always make the right decisions, but hopefully the "wrong" decisions can lead to something good... maybe mine will too. I just can't see it yet.

Finalized (and very exciting) Plans

Here you have it!

I am leaving Madrid March 30 and flying to Santorini, Greece. I will be there for 3 nights, and fly into Athens April 2. I have 2 nights there and fly to Rome on April 4. In Rome I will meet up with my Uncle John & Aunt Jean, who will be traveling in Italy with me! We plan to see Rome, Naples, Florence, and Venice. We are still working on all the details but that is our basic plan so far. I will fly from Venice back to Madrid on April 14, and stay in Madrid for 2 nights. Then, I am home! Chicago: April 16!

Photos Galore

I know this will be a lot to go through, but for those of you without facebook, here are the links to several albums I have posted and forgot to post on here! (First facebook album link is given in an earlier post.) I have also been adding photos to my Flickr account, but that link is already listed on the main page of my blog. Anyway, enjoy!

Spain 2: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2159379&id=22000288&l=63178

Spain 3: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2162227&id=22000288&l=dee87

Denmark: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2164082&id=22000288&l=386c0
(I also have Denmark photos from the Allstar game I went to... you can email me if you would like to see them..didn't have room in the album!)

Spain 4: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2164095&id=22000288&l=06cbb

Spain 5 is incomplete but I will make sure I actually post it when it is full.

To put it simply...

No reason to make this post funny or really interesting, but I just wanted to update everyone since I'm realizing I am horrible at updating this. My TEFL certification class ended Jan 30, I went to Denmark for 5 days (email me for photos), and now I'm back in Madrid searching for jobs. The job search, to be honest, is horrible. I had one interview, during which they offered me the job, but it was one hour teaching a day, and they seemed to have no structure, curriculum, etc. for me to follow. She wanted me to go to some company and level test an executive that day so I could place him and teach him. I would love to work for people who allow me flexibility and freedom to teach as I like, but when they seem to have to structure or support, that's not for me. Since then, nothing. I have received replies to my inquiries when I send out my CV (my school also did this for me but that really hasn't done me much good, either). The replies either say they don't have any spots open now, but will keep my CV/resume on file. OR. They ask about my working papers/visa. I did a lot of research before committing to move to Spain and I knew this would be an issue in the very large/well-known language schools, but no where else. Apparently now with the economy/influx of English teachers, all these schools have decided to actually care. I always respond truthfully and say I don't have my work visa YET (I figured I should at least make it seem like it's a possibility) and ask if there is any chance I could still interview with them. They all say no, but "Please let me know when you have your papers in order—I’ll be pleased to schedule an interview at that time." I have even been looking in au pairing, but living out of the family's house. However, most of them pay 100 euro a week, IF that. For some of the families, 100/week with the hours they are asking comes out to about 4 euro an hour. I don't think so! I have come to the realization that although I love Madrid, I also love Chicago, and if I am going to end up working a job for a while that I don't really want to do, I think I would rather do that in Chicago. At least there I will be able to make a decent salary, save money, and be with my family and friends. With that said, I have decided that if I do not find a job that I like and that pays me well enough that I can live here without dipping into my savings every month, I will move back home to Evanston at the end of March.

How to comment...

I've had several people ask me about how to comment on my blog if they're not a google member. It's easy. Simply go to write your comment, and choose the "Name/URL" and type in your name. Don't worry about a URL, that's optional anyway. Hope that helps! I really love getting comments... otherwise I feel like I am writing to myself. And for those people who tell me to write more frequently...you never comment! So handle that, thanks

Exhibition

I went to Casa Encendida today to see a photography exhibition. It was amazing. Please check it out online... you can see all the photos featured here:

http://www.medicosdelmundo.org/luisvaltuena/



Not only touching and sad but simply an amazing photo, great composition, detail... This was by far my favorite photo.

"Nai" by Lyle Owerko

Random comments on Spain...

• I can tell who is American and who is not at my gym simply by looking at their shoes. Exhibit A:

<--- Americans wear shoes we typically think of as made for running or working out. Typical brands: Nike, Adidas, Asics, New Balance, etc.




<--- Non-Americans (most commonly Spaniards) seem to be confused by the idea that some shoes might be better for working out due to the support built into the shoe. So instead, they wear anything they seem to have around. Typical brands: Converse, Unknown Brand, Used to have brand but are so old I can't tell, etc.

• I am having a difficult time finding a lot of men with mullets, but they're definitely still around. Because of my difficulties finding them, the following photos were not taken by me, but are simply meant to demonstrate what I consider to be a "Spanish mullet". I was able to get a few good pictures during my last stay in Spain so I will work on it!

• I haven't been able to find my favorite snack food in Spain ANYWHERE....bugles with bacon & cheddar flavor. I've also come to realize that Fanta Limón is still good but not as amazing as I once thought it was. I should probably see this as a positive thing as I will be saving myself from some serious calories by skipping both!

• <---Jamón is awesome.